Coworker Relationships and HS
Navigating stigma, disclosure decisions, gossip, and professional boundaries while managing a condition that most of your coworkers have never heard of.
One of the most consistently reported challenges among people with HS at work is not the physical symptoms themselves, but the social experience of managing a condition that is invisible, stigmatized, and difficult to explain. Coworker relationships sit at the center of that challenge.
This section does not offer a single right answer to questions like "should I disclose?" because there is no single right answer. What it does offer is a framework for thinking through these decisions, practical strategies for the situations that arise, and an honest acknowledgment of how difficult this social terrain can be.
The Disclosure Decision
Deciding whether to tell coworkers about your HS is a personal decision with no universally correct answer. Here are the considerations on both sides.
Reasons to Disclose
- Reduces the mental energy spent on concealment.
- Creates a support system among trusted colleagues.
- Allows coworkers to understand why you may need to step away or adjust your position.
- Can reduce gossip by replacing speculation with accurate information.
- May be necessary to request formal accommodations through HR.
Reasons Not to Disclose
- Concerns about stigma or being treated differently.
- Worry about career advancement implications.
- Preference for privacy about medical matters.
- Uncertainty about how specific coworkers will respond.
- You can request accommodations through HR without disclosing to coworkers.
Middle path: Many people with HS choose selective disclosure, telling one or two trusted colleagues while keeping the information private from the broader team. This approach can provide social support without the risks of full disclosure.
Setting Professional Boundaries
You have the right to privacy about your medical condition. These strategies help you maintain that privacy professionally.
You are not obligated to answer intrusive questions about your health. 'I have a medical condition I prefer to keep private' is a complete and professional response.
If a coworker makes a comment about your symptoms or appearance, you can respond calmly: 'That is related to a medical condition. I would appreciate you keeping that between us.'
If you choose to disclose to one trusted colleague, it is reasonable to ask them to keep the information confidential.
You do not need to explain your accommodation arrangements to coworkers. 'I have a medical arrangement with HR' is sufficient.
Consistent, calm professionalism is your strongest tool. It signals that you are managing your situation and do not require or invite commentary.
Building Emotional Resilience
Resilience is not about pretending things are fine. It is about developing the internal resources to manage difficult situations without being derailed by them.
Separate Your Identity From Your Condition
HS is something you have. It is not who you are. Your professional identity, your skills, and your relationships at work are not defined by your medical condition. Reinforcing this distinction internally helps protect your sense of self when workplace interactions are difficult.
Prepare Responses in Advance
Having a few prepared, calm responses to common situations reduces the cognitive load in the moment. Practice what you will say if a coworker asks about your symptoms, if someone makes a comment, or if HR raises a concern. Preparation reduces the emotional charge of these interactions.
Find Your Allies
Most workplaces have at least one or two colleagues who are genuinely kind and discreet. Investing in those relationships creates a support network that makes difficult days more manageable. You do not need to disclose your diagnosis to benefit from having supportive colleagues.
Address Issues Directly When Appropriate
Letting workplace issues fester rarely improves them. If a specific coworker's behavior is affecting your ability to work, addressing it calmly and directly (or through HR if necessary) is usually more effective than avoidance. Document the issue before raising it formally.